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When Putin Retires...

 

"Yuri Vladimirovich! The people will not follow you!"

 

Andropov dies and goes to Hell. Once he's overcome the shock to his atheist system, he gets the lowdown from the Devil.

Old Nick shows him Karl Marx standing up to his knees in a room full of human waste. "The greatest political philosopher of modern times! How can they treat you like this?" asks Andropov. "Simple. You die, and people forget about you," replies Marx.

Next comes a room with Lenin up to his waist in the same. "The greatest revolutionary of all time! How can they do this to you?" wails Andropov. "Simple. You die, and people forget about you," replies Lenin.

On he goes through rooms holding Khrushchev and Brezhnev, each getting deeper in the mire and replying to Andropov's complaints with the same phrase - "You die, and people forget about you."

Then he comes to the last room. Stalin is floating on his back in a room full of dung, smoking his pipe and reading a copy of Pravda.

"This is the ultimate!" rages Andropov. "Of all the Soviet leaders you alone deserve to be in the shit. So what's going on here?"

"Simple, Comrade Andropov," replies Stalin. "First, I may be dead but no one will ever forget about me. And secondly I'm sitting on Trotsky's shoulders."

 
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