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"Stalin taught people to stop eating"

 
 
Stalin was dead. The Soviet nation decided to get rid of him once and for all and bury him as far away as possible. They set up a special commission.
 
The commission turned to the British government with the request that they make available a plot in a British cemetery.
`Well,' replies the British government, `we do already have Karl Marx in England ...Two such great masters in the one cemetery ...That would be overdoing it a bit ...'
 
So they tried the Germans.
`Well, we would bury him here,' reply the Germans, `but Hitler is already buried here. Two such great tyrants in the one country ...'
 
Suddenly there arrived a telegram from Tel Aviv: `In view of the fact that Stalin did not bock the creation of the state of Israel, we agree to bury him here.'
`No way,' said the members of the commission in sudden panic. `No way. After all they had a resurrection there ...'
 

 
Years after Stalin was buried, a wreath appeared on his grave. It said 'to posthumously repressed from posthumously rehabilitated'.
 

 
After Stalingrad was renamed Volgograd, the Kremlin received a telegram from hell: "I agree with your suggestion. Josef Volgin".
 

 
In the twenty-first century a journalist is walking around Moscow with a microphone, asking all the passersby: `Who was Hitler?'
Nobody knows. At last the journalist comes on a decrepit old man with a Ph.D. in history.
`Hitler? Hitler?' the old man recalls with an effort. `Ah-ah-ah! I remember. He was a petty demagogue in the Stalinist era.'
 

 
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